It's one of those days when my emotions overwhelm me. Paralyzed. Barely fighting against the lies in my head, telling me to stop fighting, to give up and give in, to trust no one, to fend for myself, to doubt everything.
It's real. It's hard. And I confess, I often judge myself as weak compared to the other Christian friends I have, not realizing it's a battle for everyone.
And as I try to pinpoint where they're coming from, it's a hodgepodge of different things. But it all stems from disbelief in the God's goodness and faithfulness. That He is fighting my battles, and He cannot lose. His Holy Spirit is fighting for me, who can be against us.
Lift my soul again, strengthen me with the joy of the Lord. Help me to gaze on your majesty and glory and hold on to your promises that will never fail.
Jesus shows us another way. Not painless, and not passive. Follow him. Find your trusted spiritual friends. Open your soul to them. Ask them to watch with you and pray. Pour out your soul to the Father. Rest in the sovereign wisdom of God. And fix your eyes on the joy set before you in the precious and magnificent promises of God.
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