Making the most of every opportunity...

It's the second day of babysitting my 6-month niece. (She just woke up!... I'll finish this post later!)

Okay, it's my third and final day of watching over my adorable niece. The past few weeks, and especially the past couple of days, I've been struggling with my sin of comparison. Though I try to be glad for my friends who I think are fairing "better" than me, jealousy keeps creeping into my heart. Again and again, I have to repent for the jealousy that stirs in my heart. In my mind, it kind of plays out like this: "Yay! I'm so happy for your (insert here).... but, I wish I had your life." New jobs, engagement, wedding, pregnancy, good grades are the big topics that keep coming up. I want to be genuinely happy for my friends, but my own selfishness keeps creeping up in my heart, hindering me from two things. One,  loving my friends in a pure, Christ-like way. (I wrote about this too in an earlier blogpost -- I want to rejoice in their joys, and suffer in their sufferings.) Two, seeing how God is working in my life now. I get so preoccupied on how my life could be like, instead of embracing the life that God has blessed me with right now.

Reading through Ephesians, this verse struck me and has become my new prayer:

"Be very careful, then, how you live -- not unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil." (Ephesians 5:16)

So often I dwell in the future that it prevents me from appreciating the here and now. I always pray that I will be faithful to God in the future (which is not a bad thing), but I often forget to pray to be faithful today. To live faithfully and obediently in the mundane moments of life. Here in Ephesians, God spoke to me: take each opportunity in my life wisely...  don't waste it, don't complain about it. God places opportunities in our lives to teach us and train us, ultimately sanctifying us to become more like Christ. Taking this to heart these past few days have really blessed me. At first, I was a bit bummed that my friends who were doing all these cool things in hospitals and clinics, and here I was, just at home with my crying niece. But God began changing my heart, and I came to realize that these times alone with my niece are precious. And so I began to make use of out time together... praying while she drifted off to sleep. Babysitting stopped becoming a job, but became an amazing time with God. 


These past few days I have learned so many little things about caring for a baby that I would not have known. I may not be training to be a better doctor this summer, but certainly, training to care for a baby. It also came to me that my mom was my age when she had my older sister! (Mom, you are freaking awesome.)  Lastly, the experience had given me an extra push to store up prayers for my future family. 


Lord, I am grateful for the opportunities that you have put in my life now. In this time as an aunt, as a student, as a daughter, as single, I don't want to waste this time in my life but help me to make the most of them. Let me look to You to change my heart of jealousy to a heart that demonstrates compassion. Rid my heart of comparison, but let me love like You have loved me. Take each of my moments. Let me trust Your heart... even when I can't see Your hand. 

PS. Thank you for reminding me again today on this Lord's Day... Romans 8:28.