Chosen

[Windows slightly cracked open; sun beaming through; a gentle, fall wind rustling the leaves like chimes. I love mornings; breathing in the crisp morning air refreshes me, reminding me that the past has gone and truly God's mercies are new every morning.]

This morning, I was reflecting on just the past week or so. I'm in a season where I feel overwhelmed with failure. All I want to do is escape and sleep. It's easy to fake a smile and say everything is fine, but truly, my relationship with God has been on the back-burner. Just examining my heart, I realized that I have fallen back to one of my biggest sins: that I need to prove to God that I am worthy of His favor. So when I am not performing well, whether it be not earning the grades I want, having a complaining attitude, hurting rather than loving others, skipping out on devotions, my heart rather than wanting to run to Christ, wants to run farther away... 

Then, last night, God really moved my heart. One of my sisters at my church prayed for me, and one line really stuck with me: "May she remember that she was chosen before time..." And interestingly, when I sat down to pray this morning, the verse that was on my desk was Ephesians 1:4-6: 

"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. 
In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, 
in accordance with his pleasure and will -- to the praise of his glorious grace, 
which he has freely given us in the One he loves." 

There's no doubt that God is trying to tell me that I need to stop thinking that I can earn His favor, stop thinking that I can't be like Jesus, stop thinking that I can't be used, stop thinking that I am doing everything wrong... but do think that God, my Father, has chosen ME (of all things) before ALL TIME to be adopted in HIS FAMILY though JESUS CHRIST, do think that God, my Father, loves me too much to let me run away, do think that God, my Father, expects nothing of me, except for faith in Christ, do think that God, my Father, is sovereign over all my life and He is and will use me for His pleasure and will. 

I am perfectly loved, forgiven and empowered.